onward

Another m/c. This one is more like a late period--about six days late--but still. Bleah. Talk about detachment practice--G and I were just taking it a day at a time, and I can tell, now that we're at square one again, that we weren't just pretending. We're disappointed but really okay. We once again only feel closer to the finish line, somehow.

In other not good news, G's car died suddenly. Only two weeks after putting $659 worth of work into it, the engine ran into other, more serious problems which would have required a larger investment to repair than the car was worth. We got $500 for it as a trade-in. *sigh* On the plus side, we found something else we liked right away within the narrow range that was both finance-able and affordable for us. And we got a great rate from our credit union, which we double extra pink heart love now.

At least my voice is (mostly) back. It got so bad for so long, I began to wonder. I'm still taking it easy and saving it for band practice, since it's still not quite a hundred percent, but it seems clear that it will be soon enough. Just in time--the acoustic incarnation of the band is scheduled for a thirty-five minute live broadcast on a regional public radio station in a week and a half. Fun!

That project continues to go very well generally. My contributions are well-received, and I keep hearing from the founding members about how easy it all is these days. It really does seem as though things come together virtually effortlessly. I'm sure it helps that I knew the songs well as a fan. But I'm adding new harmonies and instrumental parts, and they seem to fit nicely and to add something. It all just flows. It feels great, actually. And that's something.

So, my challenge today is to keep my momentum going. I've really ramped up the self-care lately, especially since learning I was pregnant a few days ago. I recently conducted a small ritual, actually, inviting healthy new habits and routines. I also invited pregnancy, of course. And I realized when I saw that longed-for second pink line the other day that I'd received all three: Pregnancy instantly summoned the Will I needed to correct my days' work more fully. That motivator may be gone again for now, but the Will is still palpably present, and I know now much more immediately what it feels like to summon and rely upon it. So I can keep this going--the yoga, the prayer and meditation, the revitalized ACIM practice, the produce and the exercise. The happy clean slate with others; the lighter energy. It's like a cool breeze has been cleansing every corner of my life. Why not keep letting it fly? Leave these windows open...

And it occurred to me that G and I might have had a much harder time with the inconvenience and financial stress of major car problems if they had happened during any other three days this year. Yesterday, we were still untouchable. It's a small blessing under the circumstances, but significant. I'll take it as more evidence of God's perfect timing, and move on in confidence.