best kitten ever/eureka

Is she great, or what? That's my little baby kitten girl!

In other news, things with G have been better than ever since our scary breakthrough. He has realized that he's been losing himself, seen clearly how it happened, and turned a corner. I'm sure that as he really gets down to it I will be called upon to examine and improve my ways of relating to him as well, and I'm more than happy meet him halfway, but today he's kicking himself and taking full responsibility. He finally sees what I've been saying all these years about how just showing up and saying what's on one's mind makes things better, juicier, and ultimately much easier. He gets it. Huzzah!

The moment that did it? When he told me that his thoughts had run lately to not wanting to be in this anymore, I didn't freak out. I have had those thoughts at times, too, I told him. The interesting question is, where do they really come from, and where do they actually lead? And so the biggest, scariest thought he'd ever stuffed turned out to be not that big a deal once it was out on the table--just an opportunity, really. A starting point. The world didn't end; it seemed to start over.

For the last few days, he's been delightfully vibrant and present. He's funnier, sharper--his ribbing is deliciously, mercilessly on the money, as opposed to slightly wincing and passive-aggressive. His communication generally feels much more direct and less jumbled, like a burden has been lifted. He's confident and sexy. He feels like the partner and equal I married. I'm reveling in his company; he has taken notice--so this is how I get what I want...

Yes, it is! EUREKA!

He says he needs therapeutic help and that he has a lot of work to do, but he has promised that this marriage could only end, hypothetically, after a prolonged and strenuous mutual effort to save it. He's not going anywhere but further down this road back to himself. So I am now much more excited than concerned. I'll go with him wherever he needs to go. His growth supports and makes room for my own. Bring it ON.

I mean, keep bringing it. Heh.