wahoo!

Our jam/audition went great. What a blast it is to play loud rock music! I openly mused about why I hadn't started doing it twenty-five years ago. G and I both played well for the circumstances (16 songs, one week's notice), and we all got on famously--it was a good day. We won't get to do it again for about three weeks, but then we'll start cramming for the show in early January. Oh, and they liked the new voice parts I added. They also expanded my role on guitar--I'll be playing a little textural acoustic on some other songs, too. I guess G and I will be helping out at another concert scheduled at a favorite local venue this spring as well, and who knows what else might come up. Who knows? I heard the guys talking the other day about making a record or two over the summer. Hmmm. Well, I've certainly made it clear that I'm up for anything if they would like my help or participation, and I will continue to do so, as the Arnold Horschack approach seems to be serving me well.



This band is like two bands in one, since they do intense, deep and often spooky acoustic music as well as this really loud, swirly rock. The acoustic incarnation is even more special to me than the electric version, in fact. I got a big smile this afternoon when the topic of an acoustic set at the spring show came up and I once again put my hat in the ring, reminding them that they had my number for that one, too. Come to think of it, there was actual, bilateral talk of incorporating me--it wasn't just me going, "Ooh! Ooh!" and them grinning warmly yet ambiguously. My, my, my-my-my. As a close friend of ours who has also had a few happy turns lately put it upon hearing our good news, "It's like we fell out of the blessing tree and hit every branch on the way down." Amen.

Speaking of blessings, let me tell you about yesterday morning. When I woke up, my Rock n'Roll Blister had become an erupting wound, and my whole finger was red and swollen. In related news, I have been dealing with and fighting off unpleasant symptoms like headaches and coughing this week, and on the morning of audition day--whattaya know!--I had only a discomfiting sputtering, guttural growl to speak with, and no singing voice whatsoever. But I felt like the Whos in Whoville when all their stuff had been stolen: it was still Christmas morning, goshdarnit. I was still happy and excited. I can honestly say I never worried or feared. I just gave it all to God to take care of. The Course in Miracles idea I was scheduled to work with was, "God's healing Voice protects all things today." God's healing Voice! Perfect. The associated reading was about how that Voice would tell me what to do in all circumstances, and that all I had to do was listen to it. Even more perfect for the day. I meditated on that for awhile; I repeated the idea to myself as I ate breakfast and got dressed, really taking it in. And when I went over my songs again one last time before we headed over, my voice was just there when it was time to sing. It stayed full and clear all day. And I was able to play my guitar relatively painlessly with some of that thick white boo-boo tape over my Rock Wound. Blessings large and small.

At this point, I want to restate that the Artist's Way work for which this blog was started is quite evidently behind these wonderful musical opportunities opening up in my life. It's really amazing to me from my present vantage point that when I did some of the excercises designed to disinter and process just this sort of thing, I was flooded with long-ignored and all but abandoned wishes for the very specific scenario that's now unfolding. I'm so very glad I used those hokey little power tools (powerful little hokey tools?), and that I had this outlet to express the resulting ideas out loud, so I could hear myself say them and get used to the notion that they were not only real and important for me to pursue in a "follow your bliss" sort of way--no matter what--but that when it came down to it, they were also probably quite achievable. And not even all that big a deal. Like, seriously--not at all. What was I waiting for? What was I afraid of?

Funny how things start to seem so unmanageable when we deny our heart's desires, stuffing them down, trying in vain to shut them up. I wonder if our demons are really just denied true directives, demon-y only because they're demanding our attention more and more fiercely. Like a crying child! When you go and put your arms around it, that frightening little banshee quiets right down.