no. way.

So as G bids farewell today to his office job and embarks on the path to his dream, I have something extra to give thanks for in the dream-come-true department as well: I get to sing with my favorite band! It's an embarrassment of riches around here lately, I swear. But we accept.

So far, we're just talking an afternoon of exploratory "jamming," but as there's a show scheduled in six weeks, the implication is clear that things are likely to be taken further if that afternoon goes well. I have always wanted to sing with these guys, but I must say, the specific way the dream is manifesting is far better than what I dared imagine--for one simple reason: G will be there, too. I can't hardly stand it.

The story, short version, is that the band has been on what looked like a permanent hiatus since their bass player/second singer moved to Europe a few years ago, while the two founding members headed for far-flung quarters and other pursuits. But when their record label asked them to play a reunion concert this winter, the two accepted, figuring it would be a fun thing to do and that something would work out. After all, they're living in the same state this year for a change, albeit temporarily. All the more reason to play together as much as possible, right? AN-y-way, when I heard that a show was scheduled, I had a feeling that this might create an opening, and I started making overtures. These were warmly received. If things never went any farther than just being considered, I was already happy.

Those guys know a lot of people and they like to mix things up, so I figured it was best to trust that the highest good for all concerned would be what ended up happening. That way, I could just toss my ideas/dreams out there for consideration and let go. So I tossed away, in a blissful state of detachment. No idea was too stupid or crazy, anything was possible, and whatever happened or didn't would be just fine. In this mad odyssey of free-form dream improvisation (to paraphrase Derek Smalls), I first thought I might learn the bass and fill in that way. A mighty ambitious proposition, that. Oy. But, hey, this was just brainstorming. Just tossing it out there. It was technically possible, and exciting to consider. Why not?

But then... THEN, I had the idea: G!! G plays the bass--ha-DOI! And he's been looking for a tasty project for years now, something cool and challenging, with smart people, preferably adult nonstoners. And haven't we been meaning to play together but not quite finding a way to get to it, already? Plus, this way I could just sing, and perhaps add a tasteful (read: easy) rhythym guitar track here and there. This would be low pressure all around, and WAY more fun. More fun for all, since G is a blast and those guys all already adore each other, but omigod--his presence would change everything for me. The potential for excess nervous tension and odd dynamics, not to mention discomfort over my lack of experience in band situations, all just seemed to float away in large measure the moment I visualized G on bass.

Meanwhile, and this is the real beauty part, it turns out that this exact situation has been a "daydream scenario" of G's for years. I knew he'd be into the idea, but I had not suspected and he had not mentioned that he'd actually been wanting to play with these guys, too. Can you even stand it?

So there's a whole lot going on around here today that wasn't yesterday. The list for "jamming" (the nice way they're saying 'audition', methinks) is sixteen songs long, and the first get-together may be as soon as nine days away. I'm familiar with all the songs, but knowing I'll be participating is making me listen to them in a new way this morning. My appreciation of what these guys do has already deepened, as well as my awareness that even "just" singing, I have a lot of work before me if I'm going to do this well. Which I am. What else... I'm suddenly wondering if I'll have time to make all the Christmas gifts I bought supplies for yesterday before we got the word, what with all the potential practicing and rehearsing. But I like the feeling that my time is filling up with such, well, fulfilling activities. This will change G's and my experience of the transition to his working from home dramatically, I imagine, as there are now two major factors in our life together emerging in the very same week. The timing seems perfect, somehow. And I'm surprised to find myself really happy in a calm way, rather than really hyper in every possible emotional direction. Somehow, after everything, this is really no big deal. In a good way. It's a bit early in the process, I know, but all signs point to my being ready for this. Which is nice.

The biggest item to note, of course, is how TOTALLY FRICKIN' GRATEFUL and BLOWN THE FRIG AWAY I am to observe this very dear and long-held dream emerging into my outward experience in the most perfect possible way and at the perfect time. Even if it only turns out to be one afternoon, just jamming in the basement. This is just plain COOL. And it's one of those times when the most suitable words seem way too small for their task.



PS - Hey, Kat, if you're still out there: I see what you mean about positive affects from The Artist's Way showing up months afterward! (Long-time readers may recall several posts in which I have ruminated about this very scenario, beginning with coming to terms with even just wanting it. My AW work clearly prepared the way for this happy funtime goodness. More gratitude! Blowing of kisses and throwing of bouquets!)

Here's my heart, God. You Rock.